One Night In... Udon Thani

We skipped town this weekend and took a road trip to Thailand with some friends. A very good move to put the total bummer that was last week behind us, we had a wicked time.

Just across the Thai-Lao Friendship Bridge is a little town called Nong Khai, which we completely bypassed to head straight to the big smoke: Udon Thani! Not actually a very big smoke in the scheme of things but much more hustle and bustle than little old Vientiane. They have an actual shopping mall (!) with a Starbucks (!!), a cinema (!!!), clothes shops (!!!!) and McDonald's (!!!!!!). Yep, the first thing we all did once we checked into the neighbouring hotel was hoover some Big Macs and post-mix coke at the mall. Slave to the Mac.

Floral garlands at the night markets in Udon Thani.

Since there is a severe lack of actual supermarkets, cheap Kmart-esque shops and brand-name clothes stores in Vientiane, everyone (expats and Lao people alike) drives to Udon to stock up on cheaper groceries, electronics, clothes and homewares and carts it all back to Laos, not counting the hellish border crossing it's about a 1.5 hour drive. Since it was the first time in Udon for all of us we didn't really stock up on anything, but used the trip to suss out what's available and to shoot some hoops in the shopping centre's arcade.

We did manage to venture out of the mall and explore Saturday night in Udon Thani starting with the sprawling night markets where the guys tried unsuccessfully to barter for some Onitsuka Tigers, some drinks at possibly one of the only bars without the obligatory Thai bar girls, and ending with the tuk tuk ride of doom into Thai suburbia to check out a Mexican restaurant I found on Tripadvisor. Our poor driver got completely lost trying to find this place and we ended up on major freeways, down stray dog alleys and stopping every time he saw someone to ask directions. Needless to say we tipped him generously at the end of the journey. Then by the time we'd plied ourselves with cheap beers and melted cheese we couldn't get a tuk tuk back to the city since all the drivers were apparently getting drunk somewhere. Thankfully the owner of the bar rang his mate, who rang his mate, who convinced someone to pick us foolish falang up from the sticks.

Mercado.

A show off, out the back of our tuk tuk.

Coming from Australia, it really is a bizarre feeling being able to drive across a tiny bridge and boom - you're in another country! Not quite as simple as it sounds though. Before we left I put the word out to a few other expats to ask what we needed to do to cross the border. Everyone seemed to give conflicting answers starting from where to go, how much to pay to get across and most people just said they get their driver to do it all for them while they chill in the car...  and that was my first inkling that this might not be the smoothest of border crossings.

Christophersen 'minding the car' at the Lao border crossing.

The one thing we did know on arrival was that we definitely needed to stay in the far right lane, then as soon as we got there a customs officer directed us into a middle lane, we were told to park in the middle of the lane, holding up traffic, and get out to start the crossing process. This involved around 90 minutes of lining up at various booths spanning the length of the whole border gate, getting something stamped by one guy, then having to go line up to get the stamp signed off, then paying for the car at one booth, then paying for the passengers at another. There was no English signage so we just followed the vague hand gestures of the officers at each booth as to where we needed to go next. SERENITY NOW! Once this was over we got to the Thai side and thankfully it was smooth sailing. Although I 'minded the car' on this leg so perhaps sitting in air-con contributed to this.

Before we left a lady asked me to make step-by-step notes of the process to give to new expats. Now, if you know me at all you know that note making is my jam, so the fact that I got five minutes into this ordeal then couldn't track what the hell was going on is an indication of how crazy this shit actually was. Here are my notes:

Succinct, no?

I'm sure we'll have it down pat for next time. Yeah.

Until we arrived in Udon I didn't realise how much I was actually missing 'big city' life - and we weren't even in a big city. Not that I don't like Vientiane - I really, really do - but it was a breath of fresh air to be back in a busy city environment. I think I hear Bangkok calling...