Bangkok! Also I got sunburn.

Oh hiiii guys... or should I say sabaidee! That's one of the five words I know in Lao now. 

Actually I have finally started Lao lessons and I'm pleased to report they are going well so far. I'm on top of introductions, phrases to use at the markets, ways to avoid pesky tuk tuk drivers and I can also say that I'm from Australia and that I don't understand Lao. Tom has been doing lessons since he started work so he is way more advanced than I, although I did manage to offer our security guard some homemade brownies the other day and he actually understood what I said!

My main shortfall has been getting to grips with how tonal the language is. Seriously the word for 'I' and 'testicles' is essentially the same bar a slight inflection which means when I do try to speak Lao in the real world I'm constantly paranoid that I'm ordering my balls a coffee. Awks.

But, I'll get to Laos life in a later post - yes, I am really going to try and apply myself to this thing - for now let's riff a little about a trip we took to Bangkok recently last month...

God, I love Bangkok. It's so big and loud and dirty. A literal concrete jungle so crammed with traffic that it takes half an hour just to get around the corner in a cab. Refreshingly hectic, gigantic and full on compared to sleepy little Vientiane. As much as I like Laos and the novelty of living somewhere far removed from Western comforts, I have to say it's nice to get away and drown myself in consumerism. In Bangkok you can go to shops like H&M and Muji, watch a movie at the cinema, drink amazing cocktails at a rooftop bar 60 floors up, eat a Whopper at the airport (yeah it was awesome) and pay for all of this on a credit card. No cards (eftpos and cc) are accepted anywhere in Laos so paying by card has actually become a total novelty. A not-so-good novelty.

Beep beep, toot toot!

We stayed in a lovely hotel on a small soi off the main shopping drag in the city and I loved the little side streets in this area. Exploring this part of the city was new to us so it was fun wandering down pokey lanes and stumbling upon cool buildings and great food stalls. Some things we found:

Love!

Cementing my new-found status as a WAG (oh jesus) we took this trip because Tom's football team, the Lao Elephants, were playing in the AFL Asian Championships just outside of Bangkok. The football itself was actually pretty fun. I was expecting school sports day vibes but it was quite the set up with around 14 teams from across Asia (including China, Japan, Vietnam, Hong Kong and Singapore) and it was held at a gorgeous polo club. The Elephants won a game which was awesome but sadly in the last game Tom pulled a 'hammy' and had to sit out :((((. He was hobbling for a week or so but doing much better now and he's even prepping for the next team trip to Cambodia. I also left game day with an injury... a crippling bout of sun burn. Ugh. I NEVER get sun burnt and so I guess this was punishment of 27 years of pretty careless slip, slop, slapping. It was not fun at all and now I understand what this horrible affliction is all about. I still have a terrible tan line on my shoulders to remind me. Noooo!

Game face. 

Look at this guy! So sweaty.

After game day Tom hobbled and I whinged-about-my-sunburn around Bangkok. We splashed out and had dinner at a Michelin Star restaurant Nahm which was amazing. A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Way better than the airport Whopper.

Then for some reason, maybe to completely counteract the classiness of Nahm, we also decided to do some real touristy crap and got a double pass to an aquarium on the basement level of a mall and Madam Tussauds. I just wanted to figure out how they got freakin' sharks and stingrays through a shopping centre and underground but we ended up mostly dodging Thai school kids and Russian tourists. So many Russians, what's the deal with that?

How did you guys even GET HERE!? 

N'aw.

Madam Tussauds was full of Asian celebrities. But there were a few familiar faces.

Hat, cane and jacket: model's own.

Yep. This happened.

You guys, he's so much taller than I imagined!

AND THIS.

Annnnd I have to end this post because Tom will probably murder me now. That's one of the reasons I'm skipping town this weekend and heading to BKK again with some girlfriends! Bye!

One Night In... Udon Thani

We skipped town this weekend and took a road trip to Thailand with some friends. A very good move to put the total bummer that was last week behind us, we had a wicked time.

Just across the Thai-Lao Friendship Bridge is a little town called Nong Khai, which we completely bypassed to head straight to the big smoke: Udon Thani! Not actually a very big smoke in the scheme of things but much more hustle and bustle than little old Vientiane. They have an actual shopping mall (!) with a Starbucks (!!), a cinema (!!!), clothes shops (!!!!) and McDonald's (!!!!!!). Yep, the first thing we all did once we checked into the neighbouring hotel was hoover some Big Macs and post-mix coke at the mall. Slave to the Mac.

Floral garlands at the night markets in Udon Thani.

Since there is a severe lack of actual supermarkets, cheap Kmart-esque shops and brand-name clothes stores in Vientiane, everyone (expats and Lao people alike) drives to Udon to stock up on cheaper groceries, electronics, clothes and homewares and carts it all back to Laos, not counting the hellish border crossing it's about a 1.5 hour drive. Since it was the first time in Udon for all of us we didn't really stock up on anything, but used the trip to suss out what's available and to shoot some hoops in the shopping centre's arcade.

We did manage to venture out of the mall and explore Saturday night in Udon Thani starting with the sprawling night markets where the guys tried unsuccessfully to barter for some Onitsuka Tigers, some drinks at possibly one of the only bars without the obligatory Thai bar girls, and ending with the tuk tuk ride of doom into Thai suburbia to check out a Mexican restaurant I found on Tripadvisor. Our poor driver got completely lost trying to find this place and we ended up on major freeways, down stray dog alleys and stopping every time he saw someone to ask directions. Needless to say we tipped him generously at the end of the journey. Then by the time we'd plied ourselves with cheap beers and melted cheese we couldn't get a tuk tuk back to the city since all the drivers were apparently getting drunk somewhere. Thankfully the owner of the bar rang his mate, who rang his mate, who convinced someone to pick us foolish falang up from the sticks.

Mercado.

A show off, out the back of our tuk tuk.

Coming from Australia, it really is a bizarre feeling being able to drive across a tiny bridge and boom - you're in another country! Not quite as simple as it sounds though. Before we left I put the word out to a few other expats to ask what we needed to do to cross the border. Everyone seemed to give conflicting answers starting from where to go, how much to pay to get across and most people just said they get their driver to do it all for them while they chill in the car...  and that was my first inkling that this might not be the smoothest of border crossings.

Christophersen 'minding the car' at the Lao border crossing.

The one thing we did know on arrival was that we definitely needed to stay in the far right lane, then as soon as we got there a customs officer directed us into a middle lane, we were told to park in the middle of the lane, holding up traffic, and get out to start the crossing process. This involved around 90 minutes of lining up at various booths spanning the length of the whole border gate, getting something stamped by one guy, then having to go line up to get the stamp signed off, then paying for the car at one booth, then paying for the passengers at another. There was no English signage so we just followed the vague hand gestures of the officers at each booth as to where we needed to go next. SERENITY NOW! Once this was over we got to the Thai side and thankfully it was smooth sailing. Although I 'minded the car' on this leg so perhaps sitting in air-con contributed to this.

Before we left a lady asked me to make step-by-step notes of the process to give to new expats. Now, if you know me at all you know that note making is my jam, so the fact that I got five minutes into this ordeal then couldn't track what the hell was going on is an indication of how crazy this shit actually was. Here are my notes:

Succinct, no?

I'm sure we'll have it down pat for next time. Yeah.

Until we arrived in Udon I didn't realise how much I was actually missing 'big city' life - and we weren't even in a big city. Not that I don't like Vientiane - I really, really do - but it was a breath of fresh air to be back in a busy city environment. I think I hear Bangkok calling...